ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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