whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
