These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
