he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
