I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think my mom watched the whole time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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