i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
