He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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