I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
