Can i not drive my cunt home
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
These tits shall not be calmed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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