OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
