these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
