I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
