Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
