Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
