i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
