found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
