Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
