Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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