It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I still have a little drunk in my system
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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