I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
