why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
