I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
