you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
