If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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