hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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