People in love make me want to vomit
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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