I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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