Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
