Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
