Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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