Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
