his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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