Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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