Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
