Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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