ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
