it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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