I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
