Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
