Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
