So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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