On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
