If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
no more duck duck goose at the bar
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
