Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
