does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
