Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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