I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
