sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
