Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
