We're facebook friends in real life
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
