dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's shark week go big or go home
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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