Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
