I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sober January is a disaster.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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